Bhimu mama - living life in his terms

 

As I logged in, it was very sad to notice that my last post was in 2019 when I had lost my another uncle - gopal mama ! Here I'm writing on the sad demise of my another uncle, fondly called Bhimu mama by me and others calling him Bhimu kaka, bhimachar based on their own relationship and connect. With his passing, I have lost all my uncles - 4 of them and three of them in the last 4 years ! 

Bhimu mama passed away on Dec 1 and the last few days before that were very taxing for the family. Being so far away, I was feeling stressed each day and I can only fathom the stress on the immediate family. He fought a very brave battle in the hospital combating the different troubles that came his way.

My early remembrances go back a long way when I was a small kid and he was still a bachelor. One of the the most handsome person in the whole family and could have possibly have become an actor in sandalwood or bollywood instead of an electrical engineer. I remember all the important milestones in our families including his marriage to vidya mami, his diagnosis of type 2 diabetes at a young age , his different stints in Dimbhe, Kolhapur and later in Pune where he settled with his kids. As much as his milestones, he has been a part of all my own milestones and events in Hubli, Sambra, Belgaum,Bangalore and so many days that we used to stay together in savanur. He would always be there in any of our events - infact all the events , including my sons upanayana in Nov 2019 , which sadly was the last time I met him ..He was always there when we needed him - for my mom when she had some health issue, when my dad when he had health issues or even when I was not well in 2012. He would be a source of strength to the family by his presence. He was always there in all joyful events too.Infact all our event plans would get discussed with him and my father in the earlier times, the simple joys that we miss in todays times. We have grown , we have become more capable, but we will never get those simple joys and memories that we cherish ..and thats the irony of life.. ! 

I remember my childhood days when I played some cricket with him Sambra; He was a very good cricket player and understand that he was a bowler and incidentally we had lot of common friends, including Shiggaon mama( my fathers colleague in central school), who was his classmate and who also is no more. I also remember his bajaj chetak in his younger days, the trips to Elephanta caves that he took me to in mumbai, his warm and straight chats during family events. His requests for tea , his timely meals , the betelnuts ( adaki) habit and this chats while chewing the adake were all something that we all will continue to remember..

His authority in the family was supreme and something that he lived throughout the life; He was always a very straight person who will always live by his principles ( what you say is what you do and what you mean ) I admired this trait of his and I do not see many people who fall into that category through the life.. 

He was also an extremely disciplined person and possibly the diabetes made him more disciplined because of the need. He lived with type 2 diabetes for almost 40+ years and he has taken insulin for almost all those 40 years. 

I feel extremely sorry and sad for not being able to meet him after that ..Its sad, Its a mistake that I did not take time to go and meet him though we talked that we will soon catch up ! Covid , ofcourse took 2 years but its my mistake that I have to acknowledge and I will feel very bad throughout the life.

 

As I write this, I feel more and more lonely in life ..Loosing my father in 2014 followed by 3 of my uncles subsequently ... I seem to be loosing people whom I used to love , seek help, have candid chats ..They were always there when I needed them ! 

Gopal Mama - Selfless and Noble soul !

Its very difficult to write about an obituary , when you actually feel that the person is still around you. Its even more painful when you were with the person just a couple of days back happily chatting and having fun. Life, however is strange and and indeed are very mystic are its turnings, that will continue to surprise us when least expected.

Gopal Mama, or fondly called as Gopi Mama by some and Gopala / Gopi by his friends / relatives was one of the gems I have seen my life - selfless, softspoken, kind hearted, ever-smiling, humble, down to earth, loving, extremely caring are some metaphors that come to mind just as I write. I have known him from childhood and was one of the favourite uncles in all the cousins.  Be it the times and vacations spent in savanur, or the times spent with me in Hubli/Sambra/Belgaum/Bangalore as I grew - the recollections and memories just fly past me and the involuntary tears continue to flow unabated. He has been there with me in all my good and bad times and has been the source of solace and calm for me.

Early remembrances includes my rants with other kids when he could come and patch us; He would also play with me cricket with his left handed bowling and batting. He would buy me and other cousins our favourite stuffs from the nearby shops and I never remember him saying NO to something. He would have emptied his pockets with all our demands and sometimes he would have no money to purchase tickets to return back in the bus. We as small kids did not realise all this , till we later in life how generous, loving and selfless he was.

I remember the strolls he would take me in the streets of Savanur , waving and wishing almost everyone on the street. I often used to wonder how he knows so many people ; Later in life, I realised that it was one his unique strengths  - very few have it who can strike, maintain and enrich selfless relationships across streams of age, religion, status - be it the labourer, shopkeeper, relatives, friends ,elders or kids. I would talk out all my kiddish problems with others, which he would patiently listen and try to solve. I also remember him sponsoring my small bicycle rents while learning to ride a bicycle and also giving me the lending hand to hold the small cycle for balance.

In any function, he would take the de-facto ownership of making sure availability and warm water for everyone standing there and making sure that enough wood stock is there in the large 'chulha' in the backyard. While everyone would get ready and be on the forefront for the functions, he would be the last one to get ready - a sacrifice he would do each and everytime; Not only that, he would take ownership to make arrangements for everyone's sound sleep by providing all the pillows and bedding. He would again sleep after ensuring that everyone has been comforted. Only a selfless noble soul can have such attributes. Everyone wants to be at the forefront and very few like him would be the lone rangers at the back working tirelessly for the comforts for others. I would also assume the same at his work, where he would extend help to all his colleagues and others.

He was very fond of me and possibly because of our long association as a baby, school kid, teenager and later as an adult, wherein I have spent all my phases of life with this noble soul and am privileged on the same. 

He had got connected with his school friends after decades all of whom were professionals - engineers, doctors, businessmen and he would mention the same to me and talk about the achievements of his friends with me.  He would make a remark that his friends were all great people and to an extent that I spoke to some of his friends over the phone.The state of being happy about others is again a very fulfilling and selfless trait, not many would have this in the current world. As destiny would decide, his death certificate was written and certified by his school friend Dr Anand Betadur, whom I personally met on the fateful day in the early morning.

He was also great emotional strength to me and my family. My whole family would wait for him at our home and would often extend his stay be it me or my kids. I was seeing the same attributes of selfless love, generosity that I had experienced when I was a kid being showered on my kids as a grandfatherly relation. He would call everyone almost daily to check how they are doing - health, happenings, needs and issues. I remember the strong support that he extended to me when I was not well and he was there with me for few months besides me accompanying me for the doctors visits or to give company to me and lift my sprits. He could achieve more than what a medicine can achieve because of the power and the intent of a great soul. He would even now come and visit us almost every fortnight and come to stay to provide the support to my mother. He would take a lot of stress out of me just by his presence.

He was there at our house just a day before with us and even came shopping with me , something that he liked doing with me as well as with my father- with whom also he shared a very respectful and loving relationship.

I will always remember the call that I received at 11:23 pm on 20 March 2019 , when before I reached in 15-20 mins, I could only see a still body and I was mumbling with the doctor if we can do anything at all for a revival. This was shocking ..He had no cardiac history and we had not expected any cardiac arrest.

Gopal Mama will live on ..Without a question, he was an all time favourite in the connections that I have made in life and so would he be in many minds and lives. May his tribe increase in this world !

"Ranganna" - From Surg Vice Admiral Vasant Dixit.

The below post is written by his friend , family friend from Savanur who has known him since childhood.

Vasant Dixit has retired from Navy as a very senior officer and currently resides in Bangalore. It is very warm and humbling for someone to share his feelings and write.  He also happens to be my mothers classmate in Savanur.Thanks a lot Vasant uncle ..


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Ranganna

Ranganna was my elder brother Vikram’s classmate. I remember Ranganna since I was 8 or 9 years old. His sister Bakula was my classmate in Primary as well as Higher Secondary schools. I used to visit his house occasionally as he was the neighbor of Prahlad Sawkar, a classmate of mine.

My brother and Ranganna were great friends. They left for college studies in mid 1959 after passing SSC. They would be in Savanur during summer vacations. The group used to go for long walks every evening and a couple of us youngsters used to accompany them. That was the time we interacted a little.

Vikram completed studies and was employed in BHEL, Bhopal. Ranganna had completed B Sc and was working as a teacher in Higher Secondary School at Kundgol.

I left for college studies in Jun – Jul 1963. I was 15 years old. My father took me to Hubli. My aunt, Sushakka, was in Hubli and staying at 7, Municipal Quarters at Hosur. Her husband, Late Shri BN Kulkarni was Post Master at Deshpande Nagar PO. I was admitted to Pre University Course in PC Jabin Science College, which is another story due to which my life took a turn. Due to financial constraints, my father requested Shri Kulkarni, my uncle, to accommodate and keep me with them for studies. As I can remember, my father was to send money for books, college fees and minor expenses like bus pass etc. I don’t think he was asked by my uncle to send money for boarding expenses. It was the first time I was away from home.

I was trying to cope up with college studies. There were many bright students. I was an average student and managed to float.

I am not too sure of the month but I had to pay the college fees for the II term. My father could not send money in time. I was anxious because I thought I will not be allowed to attend classes. I came home and told uncle about payment of term fees. I thought that his financial position is good enough to spare money for fees which would be returned when my father sent the amount. May be he was finding it difficult to accommodate me and this request infuriated him. He was abrupt and that weekend I went to Savanur. I narrated to my parents what had happened. They were at a loss as they did not know what to do. My father would not have been able to support me if I had to shift out from my uncle’s place and stay in a hostel or take private room and eat in a hotel.

I knew Ranganna was in Kundgol. A couple of my classmates used to travel daily from Kundgol to Hubli to attend college. So I told my father that if it comes to my shifting from uncle’s place, then I can think of going to Kundgol, stay with Ranganna and travel daily to Hubli to attend the college. It would have been stressful but there was no option.  I took it for granted that Ranganna will say “yes”. My father asked me to see whether Ranganna is in town for the weekend. It was a Sunday morning at about 10 am. I went to Ranganna’s house and he was there. I mentioned the background and requested him to come home as father would like to talk to him. He came home. My father narrated the incident, the requirement and asked him whether I can shift to Kundgol, stay with him and travel to Hubli to attend college. I don’t think Ranganna thought twice in saying yes. He was so spontaneous that he did not even feel the necessity to inform his mother or elder brother Kittanna and seek their permission.

Next morning, a Monday, self and father left for Hubli by early morning Bus. We reached uncle’s house at about 10 am and I left for the college. Father would have discussed with my uncle the issue of my stay with them for my college studies.

After the college hours, must be around 5.30 pm, I returned to Hosur by city bus. I was walking home from the bus stop and heard father calling me. He was sitting in Hosur café at the corner. He told me to pack my items as we are going to Ranganna at Kundgol. We reached home and there was silence. Aunt, who was my father’s favourite sister, did not and could not say anything. Within about 30 min I had packed and went to fetch a tonga (horse drawn cart) to go to the bus stand. Self and father reached the bus stand and enquired about the bus to Kundgol. Though the town was at a distance of less than 20 kms, the bus took over an hour to reach. It was about 9.30 or 10 at night that we reached Ranganna’s place. Ranganna received us and tried to make my father comfortable. Obviously there was no dinner. Father narrated the incident to Ranganna and told him that I will stay with him from now on and travel by train to attend college. There were convenient trains to and fro. Ranganna told my father that I will eat dinner with them in a hotel. Shri SL Katkar, whom I knew from Savanur days, was sharing the room with Ranganna. He was from Hubli and working in National Malaria Eradication Scheme. Father left for Savanur the next day.

Every morning, Ranganna and Katkar would see that I drink a glass of milk before leaving for the station. I don’t recall how I used to have breakfast and lunch. But dinner was wholesome with Ranganna and Katkar, in a hotel which was near the Railway station. Ranganna took care of me like my elder brother would. Despite his own financial constraints, he would see to it that my monthly railway pass for travel was purchased in time and bill for the meals was paid.

I shifted back to Hubli after a couple of months. That is another significant story.

Ranganna too shifted to Hubli in course of time. He joined New English School which was on the way to old Hubli. He took a room near Mohan & Mallikarjun Theatres. I used to visit him frequently and on several occasions stay for the nights. He used to take me to Krishna Hotel for dinner.

My father passed away in Jan 1965. Thereafter Vikram was the breadwinner. But Ranganna was the pillar of strength in Hubli. My mother, whom we called Vainy, managed the family with very limited resources. On many occasions, Vainy and Ushakka, my elder sister, would pass through Hubli and Ranganna would help me in taking care of them. We were looking at Matrimonial alliance for Ushakka. Mother sought help of Prof VK Gokak, her elder brother and my maternal uncle, which was forthcoming. Shri Prahlad Naregal, Deputy Headmaster of New English School and well wisher of the family, too stepped in. Vikram was in Bhopal but Ranganna deputed for him in all matters of finance. Ushakka’s marriage took place in Jun 1966.

We shifted out of Savanur soon afterwards. I had joined Medical College in Jun 1965. Younger brother Rama joined me in Hubli for his college studies in Jun 1966. Vainy moved to Hubli after a year or so. We took a small house on rent in Hosur. My visits to Ranganna became infrequent but I kept in touch. He later moved to Central School. He married Pushpa, classmate of mine and Bakula. I attended the wedding in Savanur. Even after I joined the Navy, I used to visit them when I came on leave.

I can’t remember when I lost touch. We moved to Bangalore in Feb 2011 after my retirement from Indian Navy. Then Vikram told me that Ranganna too is in Bangalore. I spoke to him. He along with Pushpa visited us in Apr 2011. We visited him a couple of times. Pushpa, my classmate, met Pushpa, my wife. I met Vadiraj and was proud of his achievements.

All in all, I cannot forget the unwavering support I received from Ranganna when I was a student. In the absence of Vikram who was away in Bhopal, I could rely on him for any requirement. He was a part of our family.

Today when I look back, Ranganna’s willingness to accommodate me in Kundgol was the turning point in my life. But for him, I may have had to quit college studies. I am indebted to him.

Ranganna passed away in 2014. We were saddened by his premature demise. Ranganna was a kind man with a large heart. I never saw him angry. He wished well for everyone. He was there when someone needed him.

May his soul rest in peace and Almighty give strength to family members to bear the loss.

Vasant S Dixit

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New Year's / Gathering communities ..

At the outset, a very happy and prosperous new year to all those who happen to read this during this year and for those who read any subsequent years as well, since new years come and go into oblivion expect for the change in the number each year ..

What probably is more important is how was the year passed from a retrospective analysis for each one of us in terms of what we learnt, what good we did for ourselves as well as others and what can go as remembrances during the year for the subsequent years ahead ..

Talking about new years, I have spent thirty nine  new years by now and remember some of the new years eve's in different places - Sambra, Belgaum, Pune, Bangalore ( in the last few years ) though I dont remember my early new year celebrations in Hubli.

While the early new year eve were spent in probably watching the TV ( which started from 1984 ) for most of us, i presume for the DD shows that were telecast for the 31 st evenings ..In late 80's it took shape of slight community angle where the kids and the families used to join together for the some sort of celebration ..Some of the ones that I remember in Sambra included creating a 'old man' from the wood collected over the last week of december and then burning the 'old man' at the stroke of midnight and then subsequently having some cold drinks ( like miranda, fanta , thumps up ) - clarifying with the right earnest and intent. The preceding couple of hours would be spent in arrnaging for music on the tape recorders, pestering and calling the elders and generally running around ..

The 90's - new years were in Belgaum and then later in Bangalore. While the mid 90's had a semblance to the sambra celebrations in Belgaum expect for the fact that it was a new community in the Belgaum camp, where Pappa was transferred in 1994. He had that strength and a habit of creating and getting together communities wherever he lived during his life - Hubli, Sambra, Belgaum, Hubli and then later in Bangalore. In each of the places, I have seen that he made new friends from strangers and got all these friends together to create a strong community. This served as a means for differnt celebrations , events , functions, get togethers that are memorable for all of us. Even now when I talk to any of these family friends, the discussions veers to the different good times that we have lived through that have been enabled by Pappa.

The communities ranged from creation of the bhajana madal group from new friends that he had got together in Sambra and surprisingly all of them had no religious inclinations but the eventual interest in sprituality started because of commuity aspects of getting together each week on a thursday to sing Raghavendra Swamy bhajans. I'am one of the beneficiaries of the same in being fortunate to have learnt the kannada bhajans without any efforts by just been a part of these weekly get togethers,

The other community activities that were championed by Pappa ( that I remember ) was creation of a tea club in K V Sambra for the benefit of teachers since the principal was too strict to let off the teachers to drink tea outside the campus.

The innovative creation of Rasam powder packets and then eventually selling them commercially was another activity that I remember when I was in school. This was a hot selling item and the 'saar' pudi packets were sold like hot cakes during the scounts-guides mela in Belgaum. He had got the ingredients from my maushi in Solapur ( Sabu Maushi ) and then eventually got together the students and some teachers to assist him creation of the 'Saar' Pudi packets and then eventually distributed the profits amongst the stakeholders..

The Belgaum quarters where we lived between 94-2000 had a different character before we came. Most of the families did not know each other and I had found it very uncomfortable initially..However, very quickly he had got together all the families together and then eventually in a years time, the community had a different character with frequent events, get togethers etc. The families, friends still remember Pappa for the same..

The same aspect further continued in Hubli where he moved in 2000 after retirement. Same context prevailed there like Belgaum but in a short time , he got together all the residents and families and 'Aashirwad' ( name of our house in Hubli ) was the fulcrum of activity. It eventually also led to a temple and kalyan mantap coming near our house, which I believe is a the hub of activity in the region.

Pappa was very entrepreneurial by nature but spent his life in a noble teaching profession. I now appreciate and understand these aspects when I meet his friends and relatives who remember these community activities which had a stamp of leadership with selfless intent and each of us in some way were benefeciaries.

The learning for the current and next generation is in finding such lights, traits in our elders and try to follow some of these in our lives ..People eventually are remembered by what they had done in their lifetime ..

My early years and 'Movies'

Recently, my kid - Deep noticed an ad somewhere either in the newspaper or possibly in the mobile phone of the new movies that was released - 'Penguins' and was persisting us to take him to the same. I was finally lucky to avoid the same but the rest of the family did go and watch the movie while it made my thoughts go back several years back when we were in Hubli where I spent my initial years and schooling till 4th standard at Kendriya Vidyalaya Hubli. We used to live on Koppikar road which is probably now the commercial street of Bangalore, Connaugt place of Delhi, MG road of Poona / Bengaluru in HUBLI. We used to live in Kale Chawl a small bylane on koppikar road with several rows of independent houses almost joined together typical of the early urban cities. The place was even then surrounded by all the hotels and cinema theaters that were dear to me then ..

I remember spending long times engrossed in watching the live paintings being done by picture artists on huge canvas of the new movies ( used to call picture then ) that were going to be released in our neighboring theaters - Mohan and Mallikarjun ( which incidentally do not exist now and have given way to become malls ). I was recently reading the dying profession of the painters / artists who used to be busy with all the cinema theaters in the 70s and 80s ..I thought it was great talent to draw , paint for every movie at the time of the release..I'am not even sure if our next generation can fathom the efforts and talent of such breed of people..

I have to admit that I used to be a active movie goer during my early years than what I'am now and I also remember the verbal contract / deal that I had with Pappa of seeing 8 movies during summer holidays since we used to have 8 weeks of holidays ..Ofcourse the xmas break and Dasara break and its share of 1-2 pictures as well..I was a die hard fan of Amitabh Bachhan and would have possibly seen most of the movies of the 80's..I remember being teased, pestered and chased by other elders in my family for the same. The secret to my interests in movies and the easy access to new movies was with Pappa. His student / parents fraternity across Hubli consisted of all businessman and these also included some of the owners of the film theaters  and one of the notable one was 'Apsara' theater , which was then and even now one of the best fiml theaters in Hubli..So, a small word with his students for couple of tickets to be reserved for us used to work wonders and I enjoyed and have fond remembrances of my early days of passing across the locked gates and the huge queues and hordes of people waiting for the tickets of the newly released movies. It also helped that our house was surrounded by theatres within a vicinity of 2-3 kms and 6-9 pm show and 9-12 pm show used to be the normal  walking across the streets of Hubli with probably some packet of peanuts or Puff ..

It was so different than what exists now where we can book the tickets online, go in cars, look for parking and get frustrated by the time the movie starts ..Ofcourse the technology now is great , choice is more ..but still miss that breed of movies / actors and needless to say the - ' The angry young man - Amitabh Bachan in his youthful days and my father who used to get me the 'Tickets ' .... 

Habit / Discipline

Couple of days back, while I was getting ready Deep to school, his clothes were not ironed. It was already time and the bus would come honking possibly in the next 5-10 mins. The normal temptation would have been to immediately get him into the shirt and shorts that were lying in the drawer, neatly folded..However, my immediate inclination without a hitch was to pick the clothes and run up a floor to the ironing area..I hurriedly ironed his clothes, got him ready and off Deep went in his yellow school bus, not much caring though for the ironed clothes..He probably was not aware and neither would have minded about the same..

This got me thinking as to why I was so paranoid about the ironed clothes for the school going kid and my immediate reflection was to Pappa who used painstakingly used to iron all my school clothes. I don't remember a day to school me wearing un-ironed dresses and that had become a habit for me and how could I do the same to my child ! I also don't remember pappa not wearing unironed dresses to his office ( school )..

These are some values, unknowingly are imparted from generation to generation. It may be as small as a ironed school uniform but there are deep sense of discipline, habit forming and commitment behind all this..

Indakka Atya

I just came back yesterday from Mumbai. This was another added grief to the whole family when my eldest Atya - Indakka Atya expired 13 days back in Mumbai. This was just within 3 months of Pappa's death.

In some ways, Pappa and Indakka Atya had very similar traits of being leaders and winners. She was a brave lady too, having seen tough early years and then getting married and sustaining a large family of 4 kids - 2 sons, 2 daughters in the early years. My early remembrances of her start from the solapur days where she used to live near the railway station. I remember the days when she used to play 'Gunda', 'cards' along with me when I was a kid  and I used to get surprised, amused and happy about it. Later along the years, her family grew and she saw grandkids and even a grand grand kid as well in the last few years ...

Pappa and Indkka atya used to share a very 'loving' and 'figting' relation possibly can be termed as 'Lovingly fighting; ..I say this because evertime they used to meet, there would be some arguement between them where they would differ in their views and given they are from similar traits, both of them would stick to their stands always ..I often used to wonder why this happens everytime and later in my life when I did few learnings on MBTI, emotional quotients etc, I started to realize why this could be happening..

It is also ironic that they both passed away within a span of 3 months !!! Both of their souls are probably having the same camaradrie and the familiar fights of our world ! ..

My tribute to both of them ..